S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

I'm taking it easy tonight. I got a little carried away last evening celebrating the end of the week that was - but so would you have, had you accomplished half of what I did over the past seven days: editing a 160-page report on photocopier sales in the Levant AND coining the term "homeless grade" (for toilet paper, but clearly possessing potential for wider application).

I'd tell you more about Levant photocopiers, but I know how it sucks to pay US$18,000 for a market research report only to have some asshole in editing give away the ending. Let's just say, it's a page-turner.

As though this weren't enough, I also read 400+ pages of Anna Karenina. Nice, but it paled in comparison to the photocopiers; I really fear my days of reading fiction may be over. I just don't see the point anymore - 800 pages of unbroken text? PUHLEASE. Throw me a bone, give me some bullets, or a table, or - better still - a graph. Below, for instance, is a graph I've made out of data concerning the height and popularity of four of the main characters in Anna Karenina (Anna, Vronsky, Kitty, and Levin), based on the 400 pages I've read so far:

See? Wasn't that easier than all that foolish READING? You can grasp, in an instant, everything there is to know about these four. Of course, I still have to read the book in order to generate the graphs, but then, somebody has to count the photocopiers in the Levant, too.

And so far, I'm happy to report, that somebody is not me.