Up Close and Personal

I've just given my first interview about my new business venture and have rescued it from the depths of the "comments" section and posted it here for your edification.

Stepan: Why did you decide to locate in the Czech Republic? (investment incentives? proximity to Western Europe, cheap alcohol?)

ME: I have chosen to locate in the Czech Republic because that is where my old desk happpens to be situated.

Stepan:What level of investment do you plan this year?

ME: I'm thinking about buying a three-hole punch.

Stepan: How many new jobs do you expect Mary Inc. to create and will you be working with local subcontractors?

ME: Mary Inc envisions the creation of one job, but oh, what a job it will be.

Stepan: Do you foresee an IPO in the coming months?

ME: I would throw an IPO but I have nothing to wear.

Stepan: What is your favorite color and why?

ME: Green. The color of MONEY Stepan, MONEY. You know, that stuff you keep squandering on dog treats. (I'm considering abandoning my plan to become pretentious in 2006 in favor of becoming rich beyond the dreams of avarice.)