Duly Noted

I bought a notebook a couple of years ago intending to "write everything down," particularly, the witty things said by people around me. Mostly, of course, I forget it at home on my bureau. When I do take it out, the things I capture may not pass for wit, but they can be funny.

"Do you know what I did yesterday or whatever the last day was?"

"Hey! Our clock is exactly 12 hours off!"

"To get out of trouble, get into even bigger trouble."

"You can never be too drunk, too skinny, or too rich."

"The drunkest person wins."

"A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Douche."