From the "How's that again?" department

Read this and tell me it doesn't sound like someone asked your grandma to write a New York Times article about nicknames:

Nicknames have been around for centuries, long before the digital age and even before Shakespeare was scribbling iambic pentameter with an inky quill. They have been the province of schoolchildren, athletes, crooners and mobsters, and have described everyone from Queen Elizabeth I (the Virgin Queen) to Loretta Swit's Hot Lips Houlihan character on the "M*A*S*H" television series.

Your grandma, who hasn't been able to see the television that well in recent years and has taken to listening to the radio (or the blender) instead.

Everyone from Queen Elizabeth I to Hot Lips Houlihan? Why not: Everyone from Ethelred (the Unready) to Jerry Mathers' Theodore "Beaver" Cleaver on the "Leave it to Beaver" television series?

Everyone from Idi "Big Daddy" Amin to Vincent Pastore's "Big Pussy" on "The Sopranos" television series.

Everyone from my father's childhood friend "Creamer" Doyle to whatever we're calling Jimmy this week.

In short, everyone.

Pretty much.

Come in Tokyo...