You've Always Got Time*

Tim Horton's, for those of you who haven't already had this bit of Canadiana shoved down your throat by a rabid Canuck nationalist (i.e. me), is a Canadian coffee chain. (Owned by Wendy's, an American hamburger chain, which I guess means Tim's is technically no longer Canadian, but I can only follow these questions of ownership back about two levels before I fall asleep, which is why Time Warner/AOL/CNN/Likvidace will take over the world without me noticing.)

Where was I?

Oh yes, so Tim Horton's, the erstwhile Canadian coffee chain, often has contests where you "Roll Up the Rim to WIN" ("Derroule le rebord pour GAGNER" in French which, as you will soon see, is actually germane to this story).

Recently, a 10-year-old girl in Montreal found a Tim Horton's cup in the garbage can outside her school. She "enlisted the help of a 12-year-old girl" to derroule le rebord, and what do you know? They GAGNER-ED a Toyota RAV 4. I'm not sure what that is, but it's worth $28,700, which explains why:

1. The family of the second girl demanded she get half of it.
2. The school janitor, who claims it was his cup, hired a lawyer who demanded DNA testing on the cup to prove this.

Tim Horton's has decided to award the Toyota RAV 4 to the family of the 10-year-old girl. This, to me, seems fair, and that's fitting because the original Tim Horton was a hockey player renowned for his gentlemanly play. He would never have fought over a contest prize. Of course, he probably wouldn't have dived into a garbage can after a used paper coffee cup either, but passons, passons.

*Old Tim Horton's slogan, as was "Your Friend Along the Way." The cups and trays, which can be found scattered profusely along all the major and most of the minor highways in Canada, also feature the phrase "Keep Canada Clean."