Best Behavior

I am something of an expert on social etiquette and it's always puzzled me that people don't consult me on such matters more often. The joy of having your own blog, of course, is that you don't have to wait for anyone to consult you, you can proffer advice by the shit i mean bucket load and no one can stop you.

This is the beginning of an occasional series of tips for the socially inept.

Today's tip: When you are at a birthday party in your local pub, don't announce to everyone around you at the table that the birthday boy has just agreed to pick up the beer and wine tab even if you are absolutely certain this is what you've just heard. This can only lead to tears.